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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
You're Beautiful. But It's Time To Face The Truth...
Am I relating everything too closely to them, or is it true?
I miss you even more now. Because I can relate to her now. Does that seem weird? I know what she had to go through; I am experiencing it now. And that makes me want you here, so that things aren't so off balanced. Greedy, yes. But I just didn't know before how strange of a situation it was.
I keep wondering about something. I keep wondering what it could have been like.
Another thing has been creeping up into my mind, which is actually quite a scary thing. I'm worried, and I don't know if I have reason to be or not. Am I parinoid, or is my mind telling me something that my body can't yet? And if it's true, would I really do that? Would I tell anyone? I wonder how he would have felt if he hadn't been told, and then one day found out. Would he have been mad, or devestated, or would it have really made much difference at all? I don't know...
I need you.
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GUOTS!!!
It's MY life!
Don't you forget....
"You know what you do to me..."
A guy like you should have a warning!
"This is the worst fucking toast I have ever had!"
"I'm looking for someone who I can depend on, and who will depend on me. And... I saw that in you."
"Man... this is what I want..."
"Oh, well, you winked at me and my pants caught on fire"
So here I am
And from the back of my mind
An image, a memory,
Another ghost
You won’t be coming back again
"You don't recover from a night like this..."
I always was one for proving people wrong
"God... I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to hug you. I wanted to take you home and place you on my shelf. But I can't..."
"You are just devine"
It's funny, because now I look back on that night, and I can see it with such clarity. I think about that night, and what happened. It was like you were begging me. You were begging me to love you; to not let you down. It was different than I have ever been begged with before. For the first time, someone was looking me right in the eyes, and pleading with me, and I knew that it was okay if I said no. It was okay if I let them down. Because I knew that no matter what choice I made in that moment, that they loved me. And that they would continue to love me, unconditionally. That is why I said yes. That is why I let you in, and did what I did. I did it because I knew that it would have been okay if I hadn't...
"Because, if you fall... you fall, man!"
"You are a dark chocolate with the cream filling..."
"It will always be there"
Just because I love him... that will never take away from how much I can love you. My heart is endless. And you will always be my everything, even if he is my something....
"I figure if a have chocolate then everybody will love me."
****: ha, you make me laugh
^^^^: you make me shwing
If all my days go wrong, I'll think about that night.
It went right.
"I think you are forgetting what we have. Or had... in your eyes"
People are often unreasonable
and selfcentered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind people may
accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest,
people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness,
people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today
may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end
it is between you and God.
It was never between
you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa
Where I need to be...
Seaside, Oregon
Under a willow tree (in Spring)
Backpacking Europe
New York City
La Seine (at night)
Alaska
The countryside (any will do)
The mountains
"You're the worst fucking fire fucker I've ever met!"
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