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Sunday, October 16, 2005
Yesterday, was dramatic.
Everything came falling down. My parents found out some stuff... and then everyone went into hysterics. There was yelling and crying and a family meeting. There are new rules now, and I feel like I'm going to have to walk on eggshells for a while.
Dan, I love you. So much, you have no idea. What you did means so much to me. It would have been so easy for you to say "Hey man, step off. You think I'm the one? Well you don't know anything." You could have just walked out. Of course I know that's not something you would ever do, but you could have. You sat there and listened to them say all those things to you, to try to scare you, try to hurt you. You took the blame for so many things that weren't even your fault. You listened to them, and apologized to them, yet you still stood up for me and us.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I just know what yesterday was horrible. And You are still wonderful. Everything will turn out in the end, I know.
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GUOTS!!!
It's MY life!
Don't you forget....
"You know what you do to me..."
A guy like you should have a warning!
"This is the worst fucking toast I have ever had!"
"I'm looking for someone who I can depend on, and who will depend on me. And... I saw that in you."
"Man... this is what I want..."
"Oh, well, you winked at me and my pants caught on fire"
So here I am
And from the back of my mind
An image, a memory,
Another ghost
You won’t be coming back again
"You don't recover from a night like this..."
I always was one for proving people wrong
"God... I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to hug you. I wanted to take you home and place you on my shelf. But I can't..."
"You are just devine"
It's funny, because now I look back on that night, and I can see it with such clarity. I think about that night, and what happened. It was like you were begging me. You were begging me to love you; to not let you down. It was different than I have ever been begged with before. For the first time, someone was looking me right in the eyes, and pleading with me, and I knew that it was okay if I said no. It was okay if I let them down. Because I knew that no matter what choice I made in that moment, that they loved me. And that they would continue to love me, unconditionally. That is why I said yes. That is why I let you in, and did what I did. I did it because I knew that it would have been okay if I hadn't...
"Because, if you fall... you fall, man!"
"You are a dark chocolate with the cream filling..."
"It will always be there"
Just because I love him... that will never take away from how much I can love you. My heart is endless. And you will always be my everything, even if he is my something....
"I figure if a have chocolate then everybody will love me."
****: ha, you make me laugh
^^^^: you make me shwing
If all my days go wrong, I'll think about that night.
It went right.
"I think you are forgetting what we have. Or had... in your eyes"
People are often unreasonable
and selfcentered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind people may
accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest,
people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness,
people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today
may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end
it is between you and God.
It was never between
you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa
Where I need to be...
Seaside, Oregon
Under a willow tree (in Spring)
Backpacking Europe
New York City
La Seine (at night)
Alaska
The countryside (any will do)
The mountains
"You're the worst fucking fire fucker I've ever met!"
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